Poor Saskia

Okay, Peoples, I have officially gone over the crunchy-granola edge. I've decided to make my own shampoo, conditioner, and body wash. This is on top of the homemade household cleaners and laundry detergent I am now using.

A year ago I'd have laughed uproariously if you'd told me this was in my future.

So I had the kids in the car and I announced that we'd soon be using homemade shampoo and stuff.

Saskia screamed.

"What's wrong?" I cried, imagining a stray pin left somehow on the front passenger seat and insinuating itself into her derriere.

She drew herself up and said with a chilly dignity, "My personal hygiene is NOT NEGOTIABLE."

I laughed. Benjy said, "Come on, man. It's just shampoo."

I said, "It's wholesome. Forget the cost savings. You use my shampoo and you won't get cancer. It'll be awesome." I had just heard an episode of On Point about chemicals in household items, which scared the bejesus out of me.

Saskia rolled her eyes and flumped back in her seat. "You suck," she muttered.

"You too," I said, "and you're gonna use my shampoo if it's the last thing you do."

In case you think she's a total teenage b****, she's off tutoring special needs kids as we speak. She's a good egg, just a bit rigid.

She comes by it honestly...Lars is about as rigid as they come. He'll LOVE my homemade personal care items, though; he'll just dilute them with water to squeeze a few extra servings out of them. He's a bigger cheapskate even than I am.